Overcoming Shame: A Porn-Star-Turned-Pastor’s Perspective
Sex, Drugs, Rock ‘N Roll, and Emptiness
Every so often you have an interview you know you will never forget, even after 540 episodes and becoming Spotify’s #1 Podcast for Christian Men. (Thank you for making that happen!) We have interviewed dozens of men who counsel others through porn addiction, but never an ex-porn star who made over 1,000 films during six years of his life.
We are talking about 20-25 scenes a month. According to guest Joshua Broome: “That was 20-25 times that I went home and sat in the shower and just prayed to the God [who] I didn't know. It was never an intimate act. It was a business transaction that I needed to use drugs to be able to do…It was all fiction.”
Joshua Broome became famous, rich, and traveled the world, but soon discovered that none of those things filled the emptiness in his heart. He quit the industry in 2012, because “I had all the sex I could have ever imagined. But once I had it all, my life fell apart, because it amplified the sorrow and emptiness I always felt inside.”
The redemption story of what God did in his life is one that everyone needs to hear.
Porn Star to Pastor
Two years later, after meeting a woman at the gym who would become his bride, he had a life-changing experience with Jesus Christ and as 2 Corinthians 5:12 testifies, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”
It is shocking and beautiful how fast God can change a life. Changing hearts and lives is what God does best. He loves turning our mess into his message, our tragedies into his triumphs.
I am not glorifying the mess or thinking God takes joy in our pain. He does not. I believe the Bible with conviction when it says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
The Horror. The Horror.
Joseph Conrad’s classic book, Heart of Darkness, is the 1899 masterpiece about a voyage up the Congo River into the Heart of Africa, and one man’s obsessive quest to locate the ivory trader Kurtz, who had journeyed deep in the jungle managing a remote outpost.
In 1979 the movie Apocalypse Now was released based on the book. One line from the movie remains permanently seared in my mind. In his dying breath Kurtz (Colonel Kurtz, played by Marlon Brando in the movie) inexplicably whispers, “The horror. The horror.” Seconds before his death.
For years scholars have argued about what this meant. Can you imagine the shame of a man who cannot escape his past? Many of you may be struggling now with the shame of your past.
But not Broome. He realized a biblical truth soon after his conversion to Jesus. Romans 8:1 promises, “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
None. Zero. Nada. Forgiven. Wiped clean. Pure.
In Isaiah 1:18, written 750 years before Jesus, Yahweh says, “Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.”
With tremendous joy on his face, Broome said, “I built a life I can be proud of, and when I lie my head on the pillow at night, I’m not ashamed and I don’t feel guilty…You can allow your past to own you, or you can take control and own your past.
Then. Now. Forever.
I recently had a young man approach me about understanding his deep need to be forgiven. He couldn’t wrap his brain around 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
His confusion revolved about being forgiven in Christ from all sins, past, present, and future in light of Jesus’ teaching to regularly pray Matthew 6:12, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
I was able to explain the difference between one person forgiving another for an offense—say a punch in the throat—versus the violator’s need (though forgiven) to reconcile the relationship through admission and confession. It was a life-changing moment for him.
We must confess our sins often. We do it not to receive the forgiveness we’ve already been granted in Christ, but to reconcile a temporarily broken relationship because of our sin.
This is the freedom that allows you, me, and Joshua Broome to live shamelessly for Jesus in the freedom he won for us on the cross.
Live Shamelessly
If you are not thoroughly convinced, Romans 8:38-39 is a wonderful promise for anyone struggling with guilt and shame, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Wow. Thank you, Jesus!
Listen to our epic interview with Joshua here. Grow in your shameless faith by getting around shameless men and click here to join our program.
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Living Shamelessly Free,
Jim